As I write this, my hubby and I are beginning our second week in Sao Paulo, financial and media capital of Brazil. It’s not sexy like Rio de Janeiro; it’s very much like any gigantic big city with the same bustle, bus fumes, skyscrapers, no nonsense and yes, TRAFFIC JAMS.
I’m here to launch my book “Beauty Bites Beast” or “A Bela Morde a Fera” in Portuguese, the language of Brazil. Spoken Portuguese — in case you haven’t heard it — is beautiful and romantic. It’s kind of like a bouquet of Spanish and Italian, but it also has a distinct sound. It’s odd to see my book in a language that I can’t read AT ALL. My publisher, Milton Maciel of Joinville, Santa Catarina (a southern state of Brazil) fell in love with my ideas and vowed to bring “A Bela Morde a Fera” to his country… and then — since it’s already available in Spanish — to the rest of South America.
Mr. Maciel has been an ardent feminist since the early 80s when he experienced an awakening: the empowerment of women and girls is essential to the health of not only his country, but to the world. The very cool thing about “A Bela Morde a Fera” is that Maciel has added a chapter which addresses the pathological damage a cult of machismo creates in the cultures that nurture it. Brazil is nothing if not a machismo society, which means that Maciel is very, very courageous indeed. He’s literally grabbing the bulls by their horns by publishing my book and standing shoulder to shoulder in my mission to teach women, kids, and any other bullied group, how to protect themselves from violence.
In my original edition, I talk about pathological masculinity and its “sister,” pathological femininity as manifested by nurturing female helplessness. Thumbnail version: when GENDER roles are more important than the individual, family or community, you’ve got a big fat problem on your hands. As an example, pathological masculinity can result in impunious murder, sexual assault, incest and pedophilia because the macho ethic is fundamentally narcissistic. In that mode, women, kids, gays, and animals are thought of as “things” and anything you do for pleasure or cruelty to a “thing” does not “count.” Thus crimes against the “other” are winked at, or the blame is shifted to the victim, unless and until enough of the others start to fight back, whether their fighting is physical, verbal or legal, in the justice system.
Sure enough, while I’m in Brazil, what do we encounter? Breaking stories of pedophilia and star bashing, similar to our own Rihanna and Chris Brown drama. First, the pedophilia case which is also an incest case: a wicked stepfather (ironic that stepmothers get the wicked “raps” in fairy tales) in a northeast state of Brazil had been raping his step-daughter for years. In step with a now global trend of earlier and earlier menstruation, he finally impregnated his now 9 year old step-daughter. Abortion is still criminal in Brazil except in the case of danger to the mother or incest. The judge easily ruled in favor of abortion. The girl had the abortion. The result? Sit down for this. The mother, the judge, the physician, anesthesiologist and GIRL were all excommunicated by a Roman Catholic Bishop! But guess who gets to stay in the communicant bosom of the “father ship” of “macho,” a.k.a. the Roman Catholic church? If you guessed the rapist
stepfather, you are correct, since child rape is not an ex-communicable act.
Even within a macho society like Brazil, the excommunication move was way too much for decent people to put up with. So the public outcry has not been just about uncovering child rape in families but the role that Catholicism plays in keeping men in power and women and kids as chattel.
Meanwhile, a very popular and sexy Brazilian actress was beaten up by her famous actor boyfriend. He also beat up her maid, who brought charges; he was finally jailed last week. I will be following this case closely because Mr. Maciel and I want to approach the actress with our particular expertise: teaching her what to do in case anyone tries to hurt her again.
My frustration during all of my years of promoting self-defense is what I see as a HUGE blindness. There are people of goodwill all over who decry violence against defenseless people. However, they often focus on BEFORE or AFTER an assault but leave out knowledge about what to do DURING an attack. I’m the DURING go-to gal. And now, I have another partner in that: a courageous anti-macho publisher — now friend and mission partner — in Brazil.
Click here to purchase Beauty Bites Beast from Porter Square books. A portion of your purchase will be donated to IMPACT.
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